8 November 2013

Several times now, we've experienced something that rarely happens in the US. At home, it's considered quite a breach of etiquette, but here it's apparently normal. What's the issue? Random strangers critiquing our parenting.

Today it was the lady at the bus stop coming home. We had decided to split up; Lisa would take Avery to the store for ingredients for dinner, and I'd take Elise on home. I took Lisa's backpack and bag from school, and asked Avery how heavy his bag was (bags are not permitted into stores at all. Instead, there are lockers at the front of the store to put them in, but this is generally a hassle). When he said it was pretty light, I told him to give it to Elise to carry.

Immediately, an older lady began to harangue us. I didn't get all the Bulgarian she was saying, but the gist was that this was far too heavy for a delicate flower like Elise (and those of you who know her are guffawing at this point; she's anything but delicate!). I think she even disparaged Americans in general, though I can't be sure. In any case, I took the bag, we walked away 20 steps, and then I handed the bag back to her.

It wasn't the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last. Shortly after we moved in, our landlord was visiting to work out a solution on a problem we had. While he was there, I noticed that a light bulb was out, and I asked Avery to replace it. Our landlord just about had a conniption. How could I be so horrible a parent that I would risk the very life of my son in CHANGING A LIGHTBULB??? Suffice it to say, in order to keep the peace, I didn't have Avery change the lightbulb that day.

Bulgarians are intensely protective of children - and that means well up into the teen years. The sad thing is that, while a Bulgarian considers it near child abuse to have an almost 12-year-old change a light bulb, they probably wouldn't bat an eyelash if that same 12-year-old was out in a public park drinking a beer. OK, that may be overstating it - but then again, I have personally seen 14-year-olds doing exactly that.

I don't know that there's a moral lesson here, other than it's an illustration of how messed-up priorities can become. How does a society get to the point where they worry about a bag being too heavy, but turn a blind eye to the epidemic of underage drinking? This is a big part of the reason why I'm so excited about working with Scouting - I will have the opportunity to work with young men in developing skills which they will use for their entire lives, but also in developing a moral character that will enrich their lives and the lives of those dear to them.

Your continued prayers are always appreciated. May God bless you as you serve Him!

Update 29Oct13

Hello, all!  I guess I didn't realize how long it's been since I posted on this blog (or our facebook group, for that matter)!  We're doing fine, and we're adjusting well to life in Sofia.  Lisa has had a fairly minor but painful health issue, but is doing better now.  I am pleased to say that due to the healthier lifestyle here - more wholesome food, lots of walking and stair climbing, and weekly Ultimate (frisbee) practice - I have lost some fairly noticeable weight.  I don't know exactly how much since we don't have a scale, but my Scout uniform fits better than it has in years.  Speaking of Scout uniforms, we are on track to officially restart BSA Troop 359 in January, and I'll serve as Scoutmaster.  Keep that effort in your prayers, please, as it will be a very interesting situation (and opportunity); we will likely have Scouts from at least 5 different nations, including Christians, Jews, and Muslims.  I am really excited about the opportunity to make a stronger impact on these boys' lives, and perhaps even the lives of their families.

We do still need, deeply need, your prayers.  There has been no movement on selling our house.  We're about to enter into the period of time where having both a rent and a mortgage is going to really put us in the red.  So long as the house remains unsold, we are unable to afford a car in Sofia, which is frustrating because we have to spend 200 leva each month (about $130) for metro transit passes, which is a good-sized chunk of a monthly car payment.  We especially would like to have a car for when couples and families who are adopting from Bulgaria fly in, so that we can be a friendly American face to pick them up from the airport and take them to where they need to go.  Thus far we've connected with only one couple (there is another we're meeting this weekend and two more in November), but I had to introduce them to Sofia public transit - which is not so much fun when you're jetlagged.

We're EXTREMELY thankful for a donor who provided enough funds for us to purchase a dryer!  With a family of four, we were being swallowed up in laundry.  Everything had to be air-dried, and we ended up with clothes hanging all over the apartment (which makes hosting a bit awkward).  God bless our friend and brother for his generosity!

I am very excited about something that's coming up in May-June.  We will likely be having a group of 4-6 missions interns from Oklahoma Christian University coming to stay with us for about 6 weeks.  They'll be exploring what living in a foreign missions context is all about, and it's my sincere hope that in that time they'll fall in love with Bulgaria and her people as much as we have!

Pray, please.  We cannot do what we're here to do on our own efforts, nor those alone of our supporters in the US.  We must have the blessings of God daily if we're to thrive and be a blessing in turn to the people of Bulgaria.  Thank you for your support, thoughts, and prayers!

A Pile of Rocks

I wrote on my main Facebook page about our hiking trip to Vitosha mountain on Saturday. It was a great time spent getting to know Viktor and his family a little better, get some exercise, and enjoy a beautiful day in God's creation.

On our way up the path, we passed this stand of rocks. Now, I don't know if there is some significance to this; perhaps it's an ancient Bulgarian tradition, or some sort of protest (Bulgarians are good at that!). Perhaps somebody found some rocks and just thought it would look cool. I couldn't help but think, however, about the story in Joshua 3 and 4 about the nation of Israel crossing the Jordan River on dry ground. God instructed that each tribe take a stone from the middle of the riverbed on his shoulder, and make a memorial for future generations - so that they would remember that God had made a way for Israel to cross where there was no way.

I don't think it was a coincidence, then, that on the next day as we worshiped we sang "Бог направя път там, където няма път" - "God makes a way there, where there is no way." To me it seems that our entire move to Bulgaria has been an instance of "God parting the waters" and making a way where there was no way. We could not have come without God's provision of jobs, nor without the help of several of His people in the US. There is no doubt in my mind - God continues to make ways for His people in the world!

 

A bad hair night

It's Saturday, so I finally have time to sit down and write a little. Our first week (though it hasn't been a full week yet!) has gone quite well, though not without some hiccups. We're getting a handle on doing public transport with two kids, and Hristo and Vania Arnaudova were very kind to take us in their car today to several different stores so we could avoid lugging back several bags of things we needed on the bus.

On our second night here, neither Lisa or I could get any sleep, so at 2 in the morning I decided to be productive and give myself a haircut. I love my buzzcut; it's so simple and easy to maintain! Things were going swimmingly when, having shaved the right side of my head, I realized the clippers were literally smoking. Apparently, while our travel electricity adapters work just fine for most of the stuff we plug in, the clippers use just a bit too much power. So, what do you do when it's 3AM and half of your head is shaved? You spend an hour sitting still, while your wife spends an hour with a pair of scissors doing her absolute best to make you not look like an idiot.

As I was sitting there at 3AM with not much to do but hold still, a scripture idea crossed my mind. The apostle Paul in 1st Corinthians 4 discusses how the apostles have come to be seen. He says in vs. 9-10, "For it seems to me that God has put us apostles on display at the end of the procession, like those condemned to die in the arena. We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to human beings. We are fools for Christ". Now, I don't mean in any way to claim apostleship, or to equate having a bad haircut to what Paul and the other apostles endured for Christ. But I couldn't help but think, as I sat at 3AM, "if I were back in the States this would never have happened." I probably wouldn't have been awake at 3AM, certainly wouldn't have cut my hair at that hour, and my clippers would have worked just fine as they always have anyway.

But what I was reminded was that I'm in Bulgaria to be a spectacle. I have no dignity of my own; all of that is an illusion anyway. All I have is a God who justifies me, and a message for those with whom I come into contact. If I have to be a "fish out of water" that looks for a short time like an absolute fool in order that God can be glorified, then that is a small price to pay compared to the suffering of our Savior, or the example of the fathers of the faith like Paul. If my humiliation can be used to bring another soul to reconciliation with our heavenly Father, I will rejoice and give myself a crazy new hairdo every morning.

Friends, keep us in your prayers. I'll try to write as often as I can. Blessings on you all!

16June13 update

Wow, has it really been that long since I posted in this group last? It's been a crazy several weeks for us. We were able to go to Washington, DC and applied for our visas on June 6th. We got back late Saturday night, and Elise and I turned around Sunday afternoon and did a week of church camp. Tonight starts VBS. I hardly know where I am with all the running around!

We are still on the runaround on getting insurance coverage for me, though Lisa and the kids now have it. I have a strong positive lead that I'll be following up on in the morning. On Tuesday, I will fly to Sofia for a two-week trip coinciding with groups from the WestArk Church of Christ in Ft. Smith, AR and the Northside Church of Christ in Spokane, WA. I'm very excited to be working with these teams, and hopefully I will be able to do some rudimentary translation when the need arises. Next weekend the groups will be hosting a seminar of the same kind we did last year, so your prayers for its success would be appreciated. The theme of the seminar will be on the authority and integrity of the scriptures. At the moment, I haven't been asked to participate, but I will be glad to support whatever the WestArk team has put together.

We have our one-way tickets to Sofia! We will fly out of the US on August 12. Lisa has given notice to her boss, and we're full steam ahead. The house has been on the market for a couple of weeks now; prayers that it will sell quickly would also be appreciated.

I promise to post messages and pics from Sofia later this week! Thank you for your prayers and support. May God bless you richly!

Update - May 7, 2013

Hello friends! I don't actually have much progress to report. Last night we met with our real estate agent and set a listing date for our house - May 30. If you know of someone who would like to move to beautiful Kingston Springs, TN, we've got a really nice house for them! While we are excited about being in Bulgaria this fall, we received news that our salary with the school will be significantly lower that we had anticipated. We are committed, but we will need more support than we had originally planned on. If your congregation would be willing to join in partnership with us, we are looking for 10 congregations to supply $100 per month. This will go toward covering two specific costs: the student loans from my Master of Theological Studies degree, and our yearly plane fare back to the US for family visits and check-ins with our supporting congregations. We also really need your prayers for peace, wisdom, and sanity as we go through the chaos of planning an international move. Thank you all for the support and encouragement you give us!

Regaining our purpose in the new year

I promised earlier this week on Facebook that I would be posting something this week.  Seeing as how it's Friday, and I have a busy day lined up for tomorrow, this is my last chance to write!

2012 was a pretty good year in a lot of ways.  Elise continues to grow and develop, and she grows more capable every day (she's become quite proficient at the word "y'all").  Avery continues to impress us with his academic prowess, and is about to earn his Arrow of Light, Cub Scouting's highest award.  Lisa took part in a prestigious training program for her company that required her to fly to Connecticut and Chicago for several days.  I flew to Ukraine to see how a missionary family is working with young people there, and Dallas to participate in a seminar on Disciple Making Movements and Discovery Bible Studies.  Lisa and I loved getting to fly to Sofia this summer to reconnect with church there, and meet new people in the park alongside our brothers and sisters from the West Ark Church of Christ in Fort Smith, AR.  We then got to spend a couple of days in England, visiting with our friends Brent and Miranda Poff.

But 2012 was also an incredibly challenging and disheartening year in a lot of ways, too.  Lisa has experienced a lot of work stress and exhaustion.  I was not able to find any work, despite many job applications filled out (indeed, I can even count the number of interviews I was granted on one hand).  Another symptom of the same economic situation is that we have not been able to find any churches who are able to support our mission to Sofia.

Recognizing the apparent realities of a down economy, I tailored our message, somewhat intentionally redirecting our focus toward the existing church in Sofia.  It has never been my intention to detract from the work brother Christo is doing, but rather to supplement him, to encourage the brethren, to teach, and to reach out to young people.  These are still things I think are very worthy and useful, but pragmatically my thinking was that we would be able to sell the idea of our mission to sponsoring congregations better if we focused on some work in which we could become immediately engaged.  Lisa became very discouraged through this - and now I understand that it's largely my fault.

In trying so hard to "rebrand" the mission to appeal to churches, I ended up doing the same to her.  I talked so much about working with the church that I totally lost sight of what excited her about the mission in the first place - the opportunity to work with some terribly neglected children and young people in the Bulgarian orphanage system.  Lisa has a huge heart for children, and her excitement for the mission had been for the opportunity to show love to these innocent young people with so much need.

We traveled a couple of weeks ago to Savannah, GA to celebrate our 15th anniversary.  It's an 8-hour drive, and we had a lot of time to talk about our lives and plans, and pray.  I admit it - I lost sight of what brought us to Bulgaria in the first place.  I lost the call.  But I want to rekindle that - and in so doing, still accomplish the other goals I was talking about through 2012.

The Bulgarian government runs the orphanage system, and our ability to get into them depends on the whims of the individual orphanage directors.  We intend to cultivate relationships with at least one director, so as to be able to work with and help with children or teens in the orphanage.  But the core of our mission will be a home for young people, particularly girls, who age out of the orphanage at 18.  These young people are simply put out on the street, with no support framework.  All of them are immediately in danger of being trafficked, and in danger of falling prey to drugs or crime.  I can't imagine how terrifying that must be!  They have no one to help them, no one to turn to, no one who cares - no one but us.

We want to open a home for up to 10 young people in order to give them a place to belong, a place where they are loved and accepted.  It will be a home where we can teach some basic life skills - how to cook, wash clothes, keep track of bills, etc. - skills that they are not taught in the orphanages.  It will be a home where these young people can be taught about God and His love, Christ and His sacrifice, and the Spirit and its guidance and comfort.

When I visited Ukraine, I visited a home of this type, and even had dinner with the houseparents and some of the young people.  I was very encouraged by seeing in practice what could be made of a home like this.  Rather than being potential victims, these young people have hope - not only for a productive life, but for an eternity with God.  Every night, the "family" in the Kiev home gathers for bible study and discussion.  Several of them have been baptized.  Certainly not all of the stories shared with me by the houseparents were successes - but many were, including more than one young man and lady who married and started a family of their own.  What a blessing to be in a position to help young people learn to be parents themselves!

We won't be able to open a home right away, nor is it advisable to do so.  Sadly, some young people coming out of orphanages are not good fits.  We will need to spend some time getting to know the young people while they are still in the orphanage, cultivating relationships, teaching, caring. 

So, where do we go from here?  We have to get on the ground in Sofia.  It appears that we simply aren't going to be able to rely on American churches for full support, which makes us sad - if Lisa and I are working at jobs, it detracts from the amount of time we can work in the orphanage, or help older members of the congregation, or talking with people to spread the gospel.  There are, of course, other possibilities that would be open to us in jobs, such as contacts with young people if I am able to get a job as a teacher, but this doesn't overcome the downside - or else why do we pay ministers in the US to be full-time in the church?  We all recognize that being a minister in the Lord's church is an immense responsibility and calling, and that these ministers are worthy of being supported by the church.  Still, if the capability or will to support us in our work isn't present right now, we will not use that as an excuse to prevent us from taking to the field - but it will delay us.

Lisa's job is a huge financial blessing, but the past few years of my unemployment have made it difficult for us to make progress on our debt, particularly the student loans from my Masters Degrees which came off deferral in 2012.  We simply don't think we'll have the capacity to make a transition to Sofia while so much debt is still outstanding.  Thus, we've revised our target moving date to Summer 2014.  That gives us more time to get our house ready to put on the market and sold, which we hope to do by June at the latest; gives me another opportunity to get hired either in ministry, at a school for the 2013-14 school year, or both; gives us more time to work on the Bulgarian language, which we have been doing for several months already; and gives us time to raise support.  We will still need some support, but we've reassessed what level of support we'll need in light of the new approach.  I'll outline that in a future email.

If you've stayed with me through this long message, I appreciate your care and involvement.  We crave your prayers, which we wholeheartedly believe are effective.  We ask that you keep us in mind in your congregations, so that when you discuss the work of the Kingdom, you might consider how you can support our work.  We want your words of encouragement, and your questions about how things are going.  We ask that you also pray for Christo and Vania Arnaudov in Sofia, who are working alone in difficult circumstances, but are bearing fruit for God.

We simply want to make ourselves available to God in Bulgaria, because there is much work to do there, and the fields are ripe.  May He bless us and equip us to His service!