The following is taken from a post I wrote on our Bulgarian Blessings Facebook page.
I
have a heavy heart today, as I'm sure some of you do. I posted on my
main wall a more concise message about the election. Forgive me for
unburdening further here.
I'm afraid. I want to believe, as
many have said, that it's all going to be OK. In an absolute sense,
that's true; God reigns supreme, and He controls all things. The
problem is, I wonder if this will be OK in the same way that it was OK
for the early Christian martyrs? I wonder if this will be OK like it
was for Christians in Constantinople as the Ottoman Turks breached the
wall and sacked the city? We are guaranteed an eternity with God, but
we are not promised an easy go of it here.
I'm writing this on
this page because I am concerned for our mission to Bulgaria. I want so
desperately to go! When I talked to Vania last week, she said again
how much we're needed there, how much she wishes we were there already.
The church in Sofia has been blessed by an amazing gift from Northside
in Spokane, WA; they'll be able to get the facility they've needed for
some time. God provides.
So why hasn't he provided for us?
I've been unemployed for years, and not for lack of job searching.
We've been unable to raise any church support. Father, where have you
been? You know that we want to serve you only; equip us, support us, so
that we can be Your lights in a dark place.
I had hoped that
Romney would win, because it's clear to me the President has no idea
what he's doing when it comes to economy. I had hoped that within six
months of a Romney presidency, the economy would improve to the degree
that churches would see increased contributions, allowing many more of
them the capacity to support missions like ours. That was my plan,
anyway, which of course on the cosmic scale means absolutely nothing.
Perhaps this is God's way of pouring fire on top of the altar. When
Elijah faced the prophets of Baal, he told the servants to thoroughly
douse the altar with water, which should have made it impossible to
light - so it was all the more dramatic and awe-inspiring when the whole
thing went up in flames. Perhaps that's what God has in mind here, to
pour water on an already soggy economy so that in it he can show His
incredible providence and the amazing generosity of his people. I hope
so.
Perhaps I'm overpersonalizing all of this. I'm pretty sure
that the President wasn't reelected so that we would have a harder time
getting to Bulgaria. But this morning a phrase has been bouncing
around in my head, "you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding
your blood." I took a look at the passage's source, Hebrews chapter 12:
'Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily
entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the
joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat
down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured
such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose
heart.
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to
the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this
word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son?
It says,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For
what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not
disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not
legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all
had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How
much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They
disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God
disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on,
however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who
have been trained by it.
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and
weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not
be disabled, but rather healed.'
Father, I don't know what this
election means, but I am afraid. Help us to have a measure of your
peace, and give us Your provision which equips us for Kingdom work. You
are the great God of all the universe, and nothing is too difficult for
Your hand or too small for Your notice.
I
was blessed to be able to talk with Vania for about 20 minutes this
morning. She and Hristo are well, and more importantly their daughter
Natalia in New York was relatively unaffected by Hurricane Sandy, though
she did experience some high winds.
Hristo continues to heal
from his eye surgery, and prepare for surgery this month on the other
eye. In addition, Vania told me that she will need the same type of
surgery herself soon. As a result, she has decided it is not for the
best for her to come to Nashville in January as we had all planned.
Instead, we are going to see about me traveling to Sofia again in
January for a couple of weeks. The church in Sofia has been very
blessed by the Northside Church of Christ in Spokane, WA, and will be
able soon to rent a facility full-time in which to meet, hold classes,
teach Sunday School to kids, etc. I'll be helping out in any way I can
to set up that facility (paint, organize, etc.). This will necessitate
me raising a bit more money, and I hope that some of you will be able to
help with that. We had raised $300 for Vania to come, and I hope to
apply that amount to my ticket (with the approval of that money's
donor).
As always, we need your prayers. Vania expressed again
how much we are needed on the ground in Sofia; there is so much Kingdom
work to be done! May God bless us richly to His service.
